AUGUST 20, 2006
IT'S ALL UP TO ME NOW
I'm ready to fight for the future.
We can't wait any longer, especially now that Collier has stolen the promicin -- my promicin. He may have figured out a way steal it from under our noses, but ultimately he is no match for me. And I think he knows it.
Who does he have on his side? My dad? Shawn? Please. Shawn is probably plagued with second thoughts every minute -- as usual. I doubt he'll be of much use to Collier in all of this.
And my dad? He just does what everyone tells him to do. He never thinks for himself. He's never been strong enough, either in his convictions or his ability. If he has, I've seen no evidence of it. It must drive him crazy that I can do so many things and he can do nothing. But that's his problem, not mine.
I can't help but wonder how everyone reacted to the news that I'm working with Ryland. I'm sure those NTAC Agents went running back to The 4400 Center as soon as they found out. What I would've paid to see the look on their faces when they heard, especially Collier. But honestly, where did he think I was going to go? Did he think I would just disappear? He should know by now that I don't lie down and die that easily.
But I've got bigger problems to worry about. I thought Ryland knew what he was doing. The work had gone so smoothly up until now. How could he let Collier get his hands on the promicin? If Ryland hadn't insisted on building his "back up" team, we wouldn't be in this mess right now. I told him I could protect him, but he wouldn't listen. And now look where we are.
I should know better by now not to leave important matters in other people's hands. I thought maybe Ryland was different -- we so often seemed to be speaking the same language -- but I fell into the trap again, believing that perhaps there was someone else in this world who could get things done as well as I can.
But there isn't.
There is no time for second chances. I don't think Ryland truly comprehends my power and what I'm capable of. But, he'll find out soon enough, and will realize who's really in charge. It's all up to me ... and me alone.
Past Entries from Isabelle:
- (8/13) I am More Powerful than Jordan Collier
- (8/6) What Is Going On!!
- (7/30) I Have My Mother's Blessing
- (7/23) Here Comes the Bride
- (7/16) Shawn and I Have More Important Matters
- (7/9) Matthew Didn't Get It. Will My Father?
- (7/2) Only I Know What's Best For Me
- (6/25) I Will Not Let Matthew Manipulate Me
- (6/18) Shawn Will Be My First
- (6/11) I Have a Purpose