JULY 23, 2006
HERE COMES THE BRIDE
I have to say, as much as it's been a struggle to get Shawn to see things my way, now that he has, it was well worth it.
The future's agenda aside, it feels good to be back together again, especially physically. I definitely was missing that part of our relationship.
For a while, it felt like we were being so serious, getting into heavy conversations or dealing with various interruptions (him getting sick, Nikki) but now it's fun again. I can admit that it's not exactly the same as it was at the beginning -- what those relationship books call the "honeymoon period" is definitely over -- and I'm well aware that Shawn isn't as smitten with me as he once was.
But getting married is the right thing -- for him, for me and for the future. As soon as he stops resisting it, I know he'll understand.
It might be fun to have a real wedding ... ceremony, reception, the works. I realize I'm not the "girliest" girl out there (especially if Nikki is a good representation of what's out there), but it might be fun to do the whole "Here Comes the Bride" thing I've been reading about in these wedding magazines -- wear some fantastic dress and pretend I'm normal for a day.
Don't get me wrong -- I don't wish for one second that I were "normal." The truth is I can't imagine not being special.
Sometimes I feel Devon looking at me and I know she's envious, not because she's jealous that I'm with Shawn (from what I hear, she had it bad for Collier), but because she knows that he and I are something that she never will be no matter how dedicated she is to the "cause."
I'm not even technically a 4400, but I love that I'm unique. One-of-a-kind. There's something so powerful in that: There has never been and will never be anyone like me.
It would be nice, though, if my dad could just find a way to be happy for me. He has lost so much, I would think that having a wedding for his only daughter would be just the thing to lift his spirits.
Sure, it hasn't been the most traditional courtship in the world, but he could hardly call what he and my mother experienced "traditional." I find it amusing that he still holds onto his old-fashioned values.
No matter. Flowers, wedding cake, bouquet, band or not, in the end, the only thing that matters is that Shawn lets this happen. The future depends on it.
Past Entries from Isabelle: