JULY 9, 2006
MATTHEW DIDN'T GET IT. WILL MY FATHER?
I have no regrets.
Regrets are a waste of time, something for people who don't believe in what they're doing every day. I'm not one of those people.
Right now what I need is for Shawn to get strong and stay that way. We have a lot to do and I need him healthy and focused on the important things ahead of us. I don't understand what he is so afraid of or why all of a sudden he doesn't seem to trust me?
I think I've now proven that I would do anything to protect him, to keep him well and safe. Could I have made it any clearer that I have his best interests at heart? Doing what I did was necessary. I couldn't let Shawn suffer any more. It was just going to get worse.
My father was being so short-sighted -- again -- in trying to lock up Shawn. That's what my dad does: out of sight, out of mind, things will take care of themselves.
He wasn't considering Shawn's well-being the way I was. Shawn would've rotted away in that stupid hospital by the time those NTAC people figured out how to find Daniel Armand and make him stop hurting Shawn.
And I just know my dad was thinking a side-benefit of locking Shawn up would be that it would keep Shawn and me apart. It's infuriating. My dad still isn't getting it. Eventually he is going to have to.
Matthew so clearly didn't get it and look what happened to him. The way he tried to align me with him and his supposed purpose and how he constantly tried to control and manipulate me -- it had to end.
He just kept getting in my way at every turn. He acted as if I had some schoolgirl crush on Shawn and was only doing what I had to do because of infatuation. Could he have been missing the point any more? It doesn't matter now. He's gone. Good riddance.
The problem now is those irksome NTAC people. Tom Baldwin doesn't scare me one bit. It would kill Baldwin to know what I'm doing with his former boss and friend, Dennis Ryland. But he's not going to find out and even if he does, he's powerless against me.
Just because he has some serum in a syringe? Please. He's going to need a lot more firepower than that to stop me.
Past Entries from Isabelle: